promises broken

You said you were sorry.
You promised.

Do I mean that little to you anymore?
What am I doing wrong?
What more do I have to do to gain your respect?

The Wall

Banging my head against the wall.
Pounding my fists against the bricks.
My tears drop unchecked to the floor below.

         Harder I pound
               Harder I cry.

Mascara running down my cheeks
The wall grows stronger with every hit.

          Give up,  Give up
                 It whispers in my ear
                        You will always fail
                               Quit trying, you will fail

Scuff marks fron my sneakers on the wall
Pounding on the wall, my hands are raw,
Still I keep pounding.

         Pounding
             Crying
                  Screaming in silence

Occasional cracks form,
Hope springs quickly, stupidly
Cracks disappear back into itself.

       Why? I scream 
            What is wrong with me?
                   What do I have to do?

The wall does not hear, see or care.
It is solid, it is tended,
It has no reason to look outside itself
To the girl screaming on her knees


             I just want to be ENOUGH.
                    I just want to be ENOUGH to be respected.
                              I just want to be ENOUGH to be cared for.
                                          I just want to be ENOUGH to be loved.

                                                                     
                                                I just want to be enough.................